25 June 2005 - Saturday

This is my favourite colour, a plum-peachy tone that brightens my day. I am up early on saturdays to flip the classified for new listings as well as take a look at recruit to see whether there are suitable jobs out there. TBC spoke to us last week regarding our careers and advised us that this is the best time of the year to sit down and think about what we want, to stay on or leave. I find his words very true and whenever I hear this kind of talk, I would really go and think about life. Though sad to say, I have been asking myself the same question for 3 years and till now, I have no answer. I think the thing that is holding me back is uncertainty. Uncertainty of the future job, the pple I work with, the $ etc etc. I guess humans are selfish beings, they will hold on to something that suits/complements them and only willing to let go when something better comes along. I always feel that I don't hate my job enough to want to leave. Huge frustrations at times but not to the extend of not being able to stand it anymore.

Anyway, I shall let things take the natural course. What is meant to be is meant to be. Meanwhile, these are the things I hope to accomplish today:

1. Sort out my finances

2. Do up a scrapbook for our path to marriage

3. Go thru D's notes for his exams

4. Make Koniyakun

5. Buy a pair of brown high heels. (By next week)

***

14 june 2005

i have recovered from my stomach flu! yesterday was really terrible, i felt my whole body was breaking apart. Now I still feel abit feverish but I guess with another day of rest, I'll be real ok soon. Anyway, the reception nurse's attitude at the clinic yesterday was really bad, I hope she'll get sacked soon.

W and S are coming back today... great! and I think we might be gg Msia on Thurs.. speaking of that, think I better sort out the stuff for Fri's briefing soon! Oh no, I have forgotten all about it... yesterday being sick and all. Sigh, why is it that no one is helping me?

today's our 7.6 years anniversary... celebrated yesterday coz both of us working today. actually wasnt really a celebration as we just met up and went house-hunting again. This has been our main activity for the past 6 months and yes, you are right, still haven found the ideal one. "Be patient, buying hse is a big investment so look carefully etc etc ", everyone says. Yes, I know, I am not exactly being impatient but after going through more than 50 houses, we are tired.

I'm feeling sick now, my body and bones are aching, a sign that you are heaty and falling sick soon. And I have a throbbing headache. Must have gotten the virus from D yesterday coz he was having a terrible sorethroat. I gave him 2 antibiotics yesterday but he still hasnt recovered. And we still had Roti-John special at Simpang Bedok yesterday... sigh! Sometimes we should have been more disciplined and take better care of ourselves. D, I hope you will recover soon, somehow I feel a little sense of "lost" when D is sick and I do not know exactly how to take care of him and make him feel better. All I can do is sms/call him but being overly concerned may result in lots of nagging which no one likes.

I made an appointment to go the the Amore gym tomorrow but I dont think I will be able to make it if I still feel unwell. My one month break is coming to an end soon and in fact, last week was mostly spent at work! All becoz of some irresponsible people who exploited me when they need my help but when it comes to confessing, they simply faked ignorance. In order to "do what is right", I had to sacrifice my leave, life is damn unfair, I would say. Speaking of this, I remember what Mr T, my physics tutor in sec school, who said "Life is never fair, who said life was fair?" I cant really recalled what made him said that but that was his response when we claimed that something was unfair. Everytime I meet/hear about a situation where me/someone was treated unfairly, this sentence never fails to pop up in my mind. N I will feel abit helpless and disappointed with life, its like there is nothing much I can do, I can complain and wail and shout but things cannot be changed.

My piano students got back their Internal exam results today, 2 passed, 2 passed with merit. I hope those who did well will not become too complacent and all will just stive harder for the real exams. Come on, its alot of money and effort spent so they should really give it their best. + Good luck everyone! +